Sunday 21 April 2013

100 word challenge - Chocolate puddle


You might think that falling into a giant puddle of chocolate is what dreams are made of, but I know it's not!  

Moment in time…
There is no time to lick the luscious smear off my face, as I desperately try to grab a breath, before bobbing back under the gloopy mess. My eyes are scrunched shut to avoid flying explosions that splatter like paint pellets.  Thick dribbles run down my chin in camouflage design.  Chocolate boils around my flailing arms as I trying to stay afloat.  

Remember - think carefully before making a wish as it might come true!

Allana - teacher

Can you answer thee questions about my attempt at the 100 word challenge?
What changes between the paragraphs?  
Who is talking?
What tense is used - past, present, future?
What similes are used?
Why are there three paragraphs?

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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous28 May 2013 at 11:57

    Cool blog guys. That boy looks like he is having lots of fun in the chocolate puddle. I'd love to write a story about that picture. From Ashton

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous28 May 2013 at 11:58

    Cool blog guys. That boy looks like he is having lots of fun in the chocolate puddle. I'd love to write a story about that picture. Ashton, Lake Tekapo School.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Allana T29 May 2013 at 20:47

      Hey team, we would love to come and visit your blog. Try adding tour URL at the bottom of a comment so people can visit you too.
      Allana

      Delete

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